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Candeo
Fighter
Is anyone here familiar with the Candeo online pornography recovery program? Dh and I have been considering it. I'd love to here what you think or have heard about it.

http://candeocan.com





(edited by Administrator to make link live)
Edited by D is for dandelion on 01/06/2010 16:31
Habakkuk 3[/color]
 
D is for dandelion
This is the first I've heard of Candeo.

After looking at their site for a bit, my reservation is this: I didn't see any mention of Jesus Christ being the true way to freedom from sex addiction. Statements that I found like this one bother me:
The Internet facilitated your porn addiction. The Internet can likewise help you overcome your Internet pornography addiction with powerful “Face it and Replace it” techniques.


Have you or your dh looked into our brother site The Purity Report? Here's the link: http://www.purity...m/news.php

Setting Captives Free also offers a free 60-day interactive course called Way of Purity. Here's the link for that, as well: http://www.settin...of-purity/

I would also highly recommend looking at Pure Life Ministries' website. They have an intensive live-in program but also have many valuable online resources, too: http://www.pureli...tries.org/

These 3 organizations tackle sexual sin from a biblical perspective as opposed to secular.
Nathalie 

If God can accomplish His purposes in this world through a broken heart, then why not thank Him for breaking yours?

my blog
 
Fighter
Nathalie, thanks for the links. I have looked at those programs, we're also considering the Way of Purity program.

To be honest, I have been extremely disappointed with Christian recovery programs, support groups, etc. Honestly the most helpful thing we've ever tried was a SA-based group.

I absolutely believe that Christ is our only hope for freedom and we have to rely on him but I've found that secular programs and groups actually seem to practice that idea better than the Christian ones. In SA and the like the whole concept is that you are powerless over your addiction and need help and a "higher power". Everytime we try Christian groups we're always so surprised by how the message always seems to come down to "if you pray and read your bible enough, it will just go away." And if you do that and it doesn't go away, then what? You just don't have enough faith? There's a sure fire way to drive a sex addict deeper into their shame cycle. So then you end up with a group full of guys who are just white-knuckling their way through their temptations because they can't stand the shame of failure and they never really get the healing and re-wiring the deep parts of their hearts and minds need.

I believe God has the power to heal, and I believe he uses more than just the Bible to do it. I wish so badly that we could find some kind of program that successfully incorporated scripture and psychology, because I believe our guys need and God wants to use both. Hopefully someday...

Sorry, that ended up being a bit of a rant. Smile
Edited by Fighter on 01/06/2010 17:21
Habakkuk 3[/color]
 
breakthrough4ME
Fighter, my experience and research on the subject of SA is the opposite.IMO Secular programs just don't get at the root of the issues that lie behind SA.

The tragedy of SA is the fact that the internet and its accesibility to porn is a fairly new phenomenon. So everybody is struggling with this "thing". I'm beginning to find research where the secular "psychology" community is just beginning to embrace porn addiction as a "real" problem.

Also keep in mind that this addiction isn't about the sex. It is a symptom of something... Some other hurt. SA use the sexual acting out as a means to soothe the pain. Only the Holy Spirit can heal that pain. The transformational work is hard. Reading the bible and praying is just the beginning.

Praying for you and hubby. This journey is tough. Ask God for discernment as you decide which resources and supports to use. Keep God at the heart of this matter and everything because through him you will win.
 
D is for dandelion
Fighter wrote:

To be honest, I have been extremely disappointed with Christian recovery programs, support groups, etc. Honestly the most helpful thing we've ever tried was a SA-based group.
I can understand this. The Church is largely "behind the times" with this problem.

Everytime we try Christian groups we're always so surprised by how the message always seems to come down to "if you pray and read your bible enough, it will just go away." And if you do that and it doesn't go away, then what? You just don't have enough faith?
Yes, that's more than frustrating. There is a lot more to it than praying "enough" and reading your bible "enough." Those are just activities, not necessarily cure-alls. Anyone can say words, and anyone can read a bible.

So then you end up with a group full of guys who...never really get the healing and re-wiring the deep parts of their hearts and minds need.
Right. I get what you're saying.

I believe God has the power to heal, and I believe he uses more than just the Bible to do it.
I believe this, too. I strongly believe that God should never be placed into a box. He will use whatever He desires in order to accomplish what He has set out to do.

My problem with secular programs for sexual addiction (or idolatry, really) is this: sexual sin, at its root, really has nothing to do with sex. Men can be taught how to "bounce their eyes" or whatever other method a group promotes, and men can be taught how to channel their inappropriate desires somewhere else other than porn. That's a given. But none of those things get to the root of the problem. It's like putting a Band-Aid on a gunshot wound.

The only thing that is going to get rid of sexual sin in a man's life is him turning from the pride that he clings to and the idol he's made out of sex and turning to the Father. I'm not talking about just praying or reading his bible everyday or going to church. I am talking about a radical encounter with God. I am talking about complete surrender to the Spirit. I am talking about making a choice to make Christ the LORD of his life and not just his Savior. I am talking about accountability. I am talking about the Word of God becoming so alive in his heart that he feels like he is on fire. I am talking about the Father being more real to him than he ever thought possible.

The Word of God holds life. Everything your dh could possibly need to turn his life and heart around are right there for him. No secular program, no matter how great or helpful it is, can give the same thing. It just can't. I'm not saying that God can't or won't use secular programs. I'm just saying that when looking at going the secular route, you must be very, very cautious. Exercise your discernment and be cautious.

That's all. Wink
Nathalie 

If God can accomplish His purposes in this world through a broken heart, then why not thank Him for breaking yours?

my blog
 
Fighter
Thanks, Nat. I think we're on the same page. Smile

I'm so desperate for him to have that radical encounter with God, and he wants it too, but that's where we both get stuck. Cause it seems all we can do it ask for it and wait. Waiting... yuck.
Habakkuk 3[/color]
 
D is for dandelion
Yeah, waiting is not fun, but I think sometimes that's when God is working the most.
Nathalie 

If God can accomplish His purposes in this world through a broken heart, then why not thank Him for breaking yours?

my blog
 
eminmini
I keep trying to coherently write some thoughts about this and can't quite get my head together. (I keep getting interrupted - so I'll take it as divine intervention.)

Praying for you.

Love,
em
Phil. 4:6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.
 
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