May I give an added perspective of this kind of situation. I am a preacher of the Gospel, and I had to deal with this battle. I hated what I brought into my marriage and even more, I hated the fact that I was fighting it alone in my dark corner. This was my deep dark secret. Whenever my wife would make me feel less than a man or make me feel like she was doing me a favor to make love to me, I would run to what I was familiar with, porn. In my mind it helped me keep from running out and finding another woman to satisfy me. Before I knew it I was making this apart of weekly activity(Never realized, or wanted to admit to myself, that even the thoughts were just as bad as using my body to cheat) I would excercise self-discipline for at least a week before I had to minister, this way the pictures would not be stuck in my head and become distracting. I trusted God for everything else in my life, but for some reason when it came to the desire for sex, I never even asked God for HIs help. I was caught twice and foolishly explained my way out of it, but when my kids(teenage girls) found the dirty e-mails and my wife read them, I felt a shame so great that it would never allow me to touch another piece of pornography. How could I have thought that God wasn’t just as disgusted. On top of that, your wife is now disgusted at everything she saw, she doesn’t want to hear you try to explain that some e-mails were actually products of your sin and others were just e-mails sent as spam to try to guide you to their site. At this point she doesnt trust you and thinks you are a pervert to the highest extreme, and as far as she is concerned everything she saw is the sum total of everything you are.I begged God to forgive me. I know He did but the shame wouldn’t leave me. Then I felt really stupid that it took my kids seeing this for me to really decide to stop!!! (it’s a decision!!) They are are such a blessing, I explained how sick it was and they were quick to forgive. Constantly telling me, Daddy you never do anything, we knew you weren’t perfect. You just made a mistake. (LOL, interesting how kids can make it so simple!!!) I still couldn’t shake the shame, though. Later, while really feeling down, a prophetess came to me, sent from God, at a gas station(I know it sounds crazy), but she made me realize that I had no right to live in condemnation after God had forgiven me. So, for the first time, I really began to thank God for uncovering my secret. I began to realize that (unfortunately) it took that kind of shame for me to see how I was insulting God and in turn disrespecting my family. I was never violent and never allowed my body to join what my mind was already submitting to, but if I had continued I am sure that at some point it would have. All along I was convincing myself that it was only hurting me, which made it that much easier to fall to the temptation over and over again.My wife was disgusted and said she was leaving me. This broke my heart because I felt that I hadn’t touched another woman and honestly had just fallen prey to foolish desires and foolish security blankets. Then later, my regret was joined by memories where she had taken me through hell with her harsh words and acts of disrespect in the past, how could she now act like my sin is so disgusting in comparison to hers. I never judged her and never threatened to leave though it often took months and sometimes years before she would even admit that something she did was hurting me or that it was even wrong. Nonetheless, at that point, I was too busy loving the fact that I was finally free to be too angry with her. The very last secret I had in my life was finally revealed. You will never imagine the weight that was lifted from me. I immediately began using it in Bible Study. It found its way into my sermons. I could now be really be transparent because this secret sin wasn’t holding me hostage anymore. What I went through could actually help someone. I felt like I could minister effectively now. I prayed that my marriage would last and even begged her forgiveness. I knew that this hurt her and challenged her trust. So I owed her more than a grave apology. But admittedly, her self-righteous reaction felt like a stab in the heart. i had practiced forgiveness and restoration so long and felt like I was entitled to receive the same. We are healing now, thank God. But I pray that couples would learn to stop acting like one sin is better than the other. What gives us the right to stand on top of our spouse instead of fighting to save our spouse. Don’t marry a man for his righteousness, because when he falls, and he will (maybe not to this but he will make a mistake or foolish decision) your love will not last. Marry him because you are IN love with him. Then when he falls, you will remember who you fell in love with and fight with all the power God has put in you to get him restored. I felt like she loved me, but was never really IN love with me. I felt like she just married what she saw as a good man, not a good man that had taken her heart. Just giving some real input.