Partners for Purity - Discussion Forum: Numb again

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Partners for Purity » Other » Prayer and Praise

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Numb again
joyfulheir	#1 Posted on 06/07/2012 18:29
New Member Posts: 6 Joined: 06/06/2012	My husband and I have been married 32 years. I have lived with his porn addiction the entire marriage. He had an affair about 7 years ago that I forgave him for. I have been anxious, suspicious, and jealous all this time. He would always seem to be about an hour late every time he was coming home or going somewhere. I even cried out to the Lord to help me stop being this way, because my husband would get defensive and angry about it. A couple days ago I found out that at least for the last 6-7 years he's been going to massage parlors that gave more than a massage, and hiring prostitutes in motel rooms. This is all while we've been going to our group meetings each week. He lied to the counselors and his group. I asked him to leave. He did. (He was asked to leave two other times in our marriage and wouldn't.) He showed up at his group the same night. I pray he finds victory, but I don't know if I can ever let him back. I'm so hurt and afraid he'll bring me a disease. Thanks for letting me vent.


hopeful	#2 Posted on 06/07/2012 20:49
Administrator Posts: 3740 Joined: 04/11/2007	I am so sorry to hear that your husband has hurt you...nothing abou Sexual Addiction is easy and I don't think anyone here would blame you for feeling fed up. He has betrayed your trust deeply. Please use this as a place to vent and share where you are at with all of this. Getting it out in a 'safe' place helps so much. Do you have anyone you can counsel with (continually)? Too often guilt will lead to blame-shifting. He feels guilty, but puts it on you for being suspicious (when you had every right). I pray that you will continue to seek the Lord for wisdom and comfort. He truly is the One that will not let us down. I will be praying for you as you walk this road...


Gramapat	#3 Posted on 06/08/2012 08:47
Tribal Elder Posts: 1796 Joined: 08/19/2007	I am so sorry for all of the issues you are dealing with. For me, the lies were the hardest thing to deal with... Right now you need to focus on getting yourself started towards healing- do you have a counselor for yourself- not one that you "share" with your husband? We will be here and praying for you, that God will give you the support and strength through this. O come, let us sing to the Lord; let us make a joyful noise to the rock of our salvation! Let us come into his presence with thanksgiving; let us make a joyful noise to him with songs of praise!


eminmini	#4 Posted on 06/13/2012 11:40
Administrator Posts: 4902 Joined: 07/09/2007	I am so sorry for your pain. This addiction is so devastating. Please make sure that you are taking care of yourself. That is not at all selfish (even though many of us put others in front of ourselves). You expressed a concern about STD as well - so please make sure to check in with your physician. I know it's frightening - but you need to take care of you. And of course as the others have suggested as well - make sure to have a counselor that you can talk to and to get suggestions and feedback from. You're facing some major life transitions here no matter how it turns out - and so you need to be armed with support for good times and the tough ones. Sending a prayer up for you. Keep us posted as to how you are and don't let yourself become isolated (which is the tendency.) (((hugs))) -em *Who is a God like you? You forgive sin and overlook the rebellion of your faithful people. You will not be angry forever, because you would rather show mercy. - Micah 7:18*


joyfulheir	#5 Posted on 07/19/2012 19:29
New Member Posts: 6 Joined: 06/06/2012	I haven't been here in a while, but would like to praise the Lord. I have an excellent Counselor, besides my female counselor I have been seeing. I have a group of women I meet with every Wednesday night. They are my sisters. We are working through "A L.I.F.E. Guide living in freedom everyday for spouses" from LIFE Ministries. My husband is not living at home, but he is...he just called to ask how to make chicken soup ...he is seeing a counselor (the husband of my counselor) and going to group one to two times a week. I don't know what the future holds, but the Lord is with me. He is my husband. He's taking care of me. I trust Him. I'm not afraid. Thanks to anyone who's been praying for me.


hopeful	#6 Posted on 07/19/2012 23:18
Administrator Posts: 3740 Joined: 04/11/2007	So glad to hear, joyful heir...sometimes it is the small steps of faithfulness that yield the most wonderful of results...Godliness! "Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." 2 Corinthians 4:16-18NIV


eminmini	#7 Posted on 07/20/2012 09:37
Administrator Posts: 4902 Joined: 07/09/2007	Glad to hear of your good news and raising a prayer of praise and thanksgiving for the progress made so far. *Who is a God like you? You forgive sin and overlook the rebellion of your faithful people. You will not be angry forever, because you would rather show mercy. - Micah 7:18*


autumn	#8 Posted on 07/20/2012 10:48
Senior Contributor Posts: 941 Joined: 06/03/2009	Good news! I'm happy you have a group that you can meet with. I had a group for two years too......it just helps to have some people that can relate to what you are feeling.....that's why I'm so thankful for this site....please take good care!